;//');
define('UC_CHARSET', 'utf-8');
define('UC_IP', 'UC_IP');
define('UC_APPID', 'UC_APPID');
define('UC_PPP', '20');
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標題: 能把人冻坏的冷幽默_冷笑话_笑话集-左右键可切换笑话 [打印本頁]
作者: chao2040np0t 時間: 2016-9-11 17:28 標題: 能把人冻坏的冷幽默_冷笑话_笑话集-左右键可切换笑话
能把人冻坏的冷风趣
1、小明从小爱好魔术,可家人却竭力反对感到这个挣不来钱。
小明为了证实自己,于是上街去表演,他拦下一个路人,递给他一副扑克牌并说:“这是一副没开封的新扑克牌,你看看它有没有什么问题。”
于是路人就拆开扑克检讨了一番,说:“没问题。”
小明:“没问题就好,十元一副,拆包概不退换!”
2、小强坐火车时,一只鞋滑落到车外,他即时抓起另一只扔了下去,他身边的人怀疑地问:“你为什么要这样?”
小强答道:“一只鞋毫无用途,但假使有人捡到了两只,他就能够穿了。”
旁边的人似乎清楚了什么,拍板称是,过了一会他又问小强:“那你为什么不扔你本人的呢?”
3、雷锋出差在沈阳站看见围了一圈人。是一个妇女没票硬要上车。雷锋说:“你怎么没有票呢?”
大嫂焦急地说:“我是到吉林看我丈夫的,不警惕把车票跟钱丢了。”
雷锋说:“跟我来。”
他领着大嫂到售票处,用自己的津贴费买了一张车票,对大嫂说:“看到不,有票才可以上车的。
说完,拿着票上车走了。。。
4、老师:“小亮,你知道五减五即是多少吗?”
小亮:“我不晓得。”
老师持续启示他说:“如果你的口袋里有五个硬币,但口袋里有一个洞,五个硬币全掉了,当初你的口袋里还有什么?”
小亮:“一个洞。”
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作者: ttvxn622 時間: 2016-9-12 07:23 標題: authentic nfl jerseys 6990
ORCHARD PARK,nfl jerseys china, N.Y. (AP) — The less bluster the better in Buffalo.
Safety Aaron Williams believes the past two weeks have provided the Bills a valuable lesson on how important it is to keep their emotions in check as they prepare to host the New York Giants on Sunday.
Two weeks ago, Williams and the Bills failed to back up their brash talk by unraveling during a 40-32 loss to New England. They responded with a far more focused approach in a 41-14 win at Miami.
"I've definitely got to be smarter and more mature about situations, and try to handle stuff like that," said Williams, who was restrained by teammates and coaches after being flagged for an unnecessary roughness penalty against New England.
And it wasn't just Williams losing his cool in a game Buffalo was flagged 14 times for 140 yards.
"Sometimes you've got to check that," Williams told The Associated Press. "And I feel this team realized that. And we've learned from it and moved on."
Williams won't get a chance to play Sunday as he'll miss his second game because of a neck injury.
At 2-1, the Bills are in position to have a winning record through four games for just the fourth time since 1999.
In New York, the Giants (1-2) are attempting to rebound. They squandered 10-point,authentic nfl jerseys, fourth-quarter leads in each of their first two games before a 32-21 win over Washington on Sept. 24.
"It's not easy to get over something, and the reason is when you look at how hard your players played," coach Tom Coughlin said referring to the two losses in which the decisive touchdowns were scored in the final 80 seconds. "They deserved to win. That's why it lingers."
New York will be without receiver Victor Cruz, who aggravated a calf injury in practice Wednesday.
The Bills will be minus two offensive starters, running back LeSean McCoy (hamstring) and receiver Sammy Watkins (calf).
Some things to look out for:
OFFENSIVE SPREAD: Receiver Rueben Randle suggested the Giants might attempt to spread their offense to negate the Bills' pass-rushing threat much like Tom Brady and the Patriots did. That places the emphasis on quarterback Eli Manning getting the ball out quickly,nfl jerseys.
The trouble is, the Bills didn't blitz much against New England in allowing a franchise-worst 466 yards passing. Buffalo adjusted against the Dolphins and finished with two sacks and three interceptions.
Manning also lacks mobility.
"He don't run," Bills defensive tackle Marcell Dareus said. "We're just trying to get in his face,nike nfl jerseys, confuse him with coverages and get him uncomfortable."
EFFICIENT ELI: Though Manning made some questionable decisions in the Giants' two losses, he has yet to throw an interception on 108 attempts. It's the Giants second-longest streak to start a season behind Fran Tarkenton (163 attempts in 1969)
SITTING SHADY: The Bills don't expect their running attack to lose a step without McCoy,wholesale jerseys, who has been nagged by the injury since training camp. Rookie fifth-rounder Karlos Williams has been a force with a team-best 186 yards rushing and scoring a TD in each of his first three games.
"The young man has obviously far exceeded everybody's expectations," Bills coach Rex Ryan said of Williams.
CRUZ LETDOWN: The excitement of having Cruz back practicing this week quickly gave way to disappointment when he left the field.
"We were hoping this would be the week," Randle said. "We don't have much time to dwell on it. We've got to prepare for Sunday."
Cruz has not played since sustaining a season-ending knee injury on Oct. 12.
REMEMBERING RIT: Coughlin is enjoying a homecoming of sorts. He was the Rochester (New York) Institute of Technology football program's first coach in 1970. During his four seasons at RIT, Coughlin would play tapes of speeches made by Gen. George Patton to inspire his players.
"I played about anything I'd get my hands on to try to motivate those guys," Coughlin recalled. He had a 16-15-2 record before landing an assistant job at Syracuse,cheap jerseys, Coughlin's alma mater.
He referred to the RIT startup experience when interviewing to become head coach of the expansion Jacksonville Jaguars,wholesale nfl jerseys.
"I said, 'I've kind of done this before.' And they looked at me like I was cross-eyed," Coughlin said with a laugh.
___
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