e. Some of us are pious, some of us aregenerous. Some few of us are honest, comparatively speaking; andsome, fewer still, may possibly be truthful. But in vanity andkindred weaknesses we can all join hands. Vanity is one of thosetouches of nature that make the whole world kin. From the Indianhunter, proud of his belt of scalps, to the European general, swellingbeneath his row of stars and medals; from the Chinese, gleeful at thelength of his pigtail, to the Schweiz Trikot "professional beauty," sufferingtortures in order that her waist may resemble a peg-top; fromdraggle-tailed little Polly Everton Kinder Stiggins, strutting Florence Trikot through Seven Dialswith a tattered parasol over her head, to the princess sweepingthrough a drawing-room with a train Portugal Kinder of four yards long; from 'Arry,winning by vulgar chaff the loud laughter of his pals, to thestatesman whose ears are tickled by the cheers that greet hishigh-sounding periods; from the dark-skinned African, bartering hisrare oils and Belgium Trikot ivory for a few glass beads to hang about his neck, tothe Christian maiden Męskie Koszulka selling her white body for a Schalke 04 Trikot score of tiny stonesand an empty title to Portugal Trikot tack before her name--all march, and fight, andbleed, and die beneath its tawdry flag.
Ay, ay, vanity is truly the motive-power that moves humanity, and itis flattery that greases the wheels. If you want to win affection andrespect Arsenal Damen in this world, you must flatter people. Flatter high and low,and rich and poor, and silly and wise. You will get on famously.
Praise this man's virtues and that man's vices. Compliment everybodyupon everything, and especially upon what they haven't got. Admireguys for their beauty, fools for their wit, and boors for theirbreeding. Your discernment and intelligence will be extolled to theskies.
Every one can be got over by flattery. The belted earl--"belted earl"is the correct phrase, I believe. I don't know Lyon Trikot what it means, unlessit be an earl that wears a belt instead of braces. Some men do. Idon't like it myself. You have to keep the thing so tight for it tobe of any use, and that is uncomfortable. Anyhow, whatever particularkind of an earl a belted earl may be, he is, I assert, get-overable byflattery; just as every other human being is, from a duchess to acat's-meat man, Luis Suarez Trikot from a plow boy to a poet--and the poet far easierthan the plowboy, for butter sinks better into wheaten bread than intooaten cakes.
As for love, flattery is its very life-blood. Fill a person with lovefor themselves, and what runs over will be your share, says a certainwitty and truthful Frenchman whose name I can't for the life of meremember. (Confound it! I never can remember names when I want to.)Tell a girl Vestes Molletonnée she is an angel, only more angelic than an angel; that sheis a goddess, only more graceful, queenly, and heavenly than theaverage goddess; that she is more fairy-like than Titania, morebeautiful than Venus, more enchanting than Parthenope; more adorable,lovely, and radiant, in short, than any other woman that ever didlive, does live, or could live, and you will make a very favorableimpression upon her trusting little hearlinks:
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